If you do not know me from grade 10 this might come as a surprise. You see I was never the type of girl who would seize the opportunity, speak up her mind and tell people what she (actually) feel about others. I think I was a one of the silent kids but ya my pride and my height was always higher than normal and if anyone would cross the line I just could not tolerate it. In a way I was a tomboy (at least I thought I was) who could not act all “tomboyish” all the time. I never used to fight for what I wanted and how I wanted people to treat me back in 10 grade and I think that was the reason that allowed many of my counterparts to make fun of me, my height and everything else. That’s also the reason that back in my head I was always regretting that I’m the tallest in the class, hell tallest in the whole batch I would say. I was never a perfect 10 grade girly girl as I had little sense of fashion and more guy friends than girl friends.
I think I started truly speaking up my mind when my environment changed in 11 grade with new and strange people in new school. I started talking to these first not so friendly but bold people whom I think had a great influence on me. By mid session I saw myself engaged in novel tasks and better relationships than I ever had till grade 10. My seniors, juniors and all other people taught me to stand up for myself and what I desire and how I wanted that desire to become real.
Everything was not so great, there were times when I scared going to school because i get awkward when I don’t know people and how they might turn out to be in reality, I also struggle in striking up a conversation unless I know that the other person is equally interested in talking to me also I had no (real) friend but eventually I found myself this beautiful lovely woman who tolerated me and all the not so Bollywood dramas of my life.
Also, it was in grade 11 and 12 that I started feeling comfortable in my self even though being an aberration. Most importantly, I started telling people how I felt with holding an attitude of “Kuch to log kahenge loggo ka kaam he kehna”, ok I cared a little I am admitting but what do you expect I’m also a human.
My last two years of school also taught me how to face rejection while still holding my calm in place.
I owe a lot to the people I met in these last two years because they taught me to somewhat let go but still hold on, praise myself and express myself in a way that I could never imagine.
Thus I can say that I came a “tall” way.
PS – I just want to tell you all that I’m going to super irregular in blogging, at least till I get myself into college. I started doing this for myself and for my happiness and desire but not to get stressed over another deadline. Moreover I don’t want to act cursory on this.
Khushi has started blogging! 